Author: Mies

Modern Fairytale…

Months ago this Cinderella made reservations to attend a proper Ball. I booked a table for 8, as 3 other couples were more than willing to join me for the dinner festivities which would prelude the actual Ball! I thought, it would be no problem to find myself a date in the in-between-time, but now I am faced with reality….an empty seat at the table tomorrow !!! After having been living the single life now for nearly 4 years, and having had plenty of non-lasting-dates, it seems I am yet again attending this by myself !! 😉

I can do this, I know that by now, and I will be fun and jolly galore, but inside I know a little piece of me will once again go through total dissapointment and I’ll feel like the girl who never got asked to join in gymclass !!

For those of you with a significant other this may all sound foolish and silly. But believe me when I tell you that there are occasions in life when it’s best to know that someone is there, right by your side, to get you through it. And Survive ! It installs a sense of ‘belonging’, I suppose.

That may be what I’ve been missing out on for a while now. Belonging. So I find myself in a Cinderella-like-situation…

Anyway, I’ll be wearing a glittery, navy blue, long, fancy dress, with Cinderella slippers (no, they’re not flat, but very high heels as I’m not the tallest or fairest of them all ! ;-)).

Drinks and dinner to get into the mood and then lots of movement on the dancefloor. As a good friend of mine likes to call it….it’s our ‘workout’ !!! At this point all the young adults will join us and if all goes well, it will be the modern day Fairytail Ball! By then I will have long forgotten, about the empty seat next to me at the dinner table and my spirits will be up !

At the magical hour, this Cinderella will leave the Ball, walk herself to her car (yes, my feet will surely be killing me by now…) where my loyal volvo-carriage will be awaiting me in the underground parking. The GPS man will safely guide me home and the next morning I will once again see BOTH my slippers tossed into a corner of the wardrobe…..

Back to living the vida loca ! 😉

Every Wednesday, my kids have hockey practice and since I have 3 kids, I spend nearly all afternoon at the hockey club. There are plenty of other mothers who do exactly the same on Wednesday afternoon…that is…drive everyone around in an organized fashion, so that they can punctually be at their required sports/singing/birthdays etc. activities. It is on these afternoons that I am so happy to have a comfortable car, with a great selection of music cd’s to keep me company on my rush-around-town !

All mothers of ‘chicks’ and ‘squirrels’ (yes, that’s how we call our first and second year hockey players), are supposed to hang around the club as long as their little sprouts are on the field training. This has been made compulsory so that if any accidents were to happen, mothers can rush to the rescue !

Wednesday’s have now become a true social event for most of us. We have the ‘wine’ group, that settles under a huge parasol with heaters all around them, and they enjoy their cigarettes and wine for most of the afternoon. Then we have the tea-and-coffee-drinking-moms who seem to always be cold and therefore spend most of the afternoon indoors, unless of course the sun is shining in which case they migrate towards the benches outside on the terrace. Now…when the sun is shining, the spirits are up too ! Loud giggling and raised voices can be heard all over the place, mothers enthousiastically sharing their midweek’s stories !

These are the days I love most.
These are the days I prosper.

I seem to get such energy from listening to these wonderful women and mothers. Hearing all of their worries and insecurities, as well as many of their great joys and adventures in life. Realising we are all different, yet so alike.
We will discuss anything on these sunny afternoon’s, from school problems to bikini waxing, from men to dating experiences, from travel trips to home improvement advice. Yes, as you can imagine enough food for hilarious conversations and various thoughts and opinions.

We laugh and sometimes even cry at moments like these…and the sense of ‘belonging’ is a strong one. All living the same life, with the same struggles and the same hurdles, yet finding the purpose of it all in being good mothers, wives, girlfriends, singles, daughters, sisters, friends, and women. It is a strong bond we share, one that is rarely understood by men.  We know the value of spending time with our children, of making sacrifices, of driving them around so that they get a chance at as much as possible in life.
We know we’re all in the same boat when it comes to this type of devotion and love. And yet we truthfully admit that at times, it’s hard, and difficult to endure. We share our frustrations in the knowledge that we will not be judged but listened to, not be criticised but supported, not feel the outcast but just a ‘mom’ like any other….

To you, my wonderful friends I give my thanks for your unconditional friendship ! And to all the women out there, have a wonderful International Women’s Day !

This is a tough one, I once read somewhere that women offer sex in the hope they will get love, and men offer love in the hope they will get sex. I have often wondered if there is any truth to this.

Today I read an article in the newspaper saying that a 22 year old girl ‘stole’ her grandmother’s boyfriend (63). They mentioned having a great and healthy sex life. I couldn’t help but wonder why that seemed to be the most important aspect to mention. I already, at the best of times feel that this world has gone insane, and can’t by the life of me understand what the attraction between this 22 year old and 63 year old man could be. To me it seems to border on pedofile behaviour. In a way, I feel so bad for the grandmother, as she once again becomes one of those women who doesn’t stand a chance in the world of the young and beautiful.
Yes, it is only my superficial and very subjective view, as I have no idea what their relationship was like before the granddaughter made her appearance.

I guess you attract men with your sexuality, and looks, but in the end, I don’t believe that that is what will make them stay. Not the good ones…and yes, I remain convinced that there are many good men still out there. I hope that the true attraction lies within your soul, the person that you are and the joy you live your life with.

So, as women, what should we do to attract the ‘right’ man ?! I guess we start off by deciding what we want in a man and what we expect from a relationship. This seems easy enough, but of course not all of our needs will be met and there should always be room for some compromise, I think. The compromise being on the small issues, not the important ones. For instance, it’s no use making a point of someone’s small annoying habits, but it is crucial to feel that someone is truly interested in you, not just ‘passing time’ with you. No need for love at first sight, but you aren’t someone’s entertainment center until something better comes along.
Sometimes we so long for love that we confuse it with lust. It will satisfy for a while but leave you empty and alone in the end. To be honest, as women, we are worth so much more !!

It’s difficult to believe in yourself, and to retrieve your self confidence after a man has left you, or if you’ve had many relationships that ended badly. As a woman it leaves a huge dent and sometimes, when the hurt is deep, you’re tempted to believe you’re really not worth it. I went through that, and still at times struggle with it. Strangely enough, it is not an issue in my friendships, but when it comes to men, I am a total disaster.
I have no idea what I want, yet I want too much….
I say I don’t want commitment, yet feel true disappointment when I find out I am just a fling for the other person….
I long for love, yet don’t dare assume someone will ever love me again….
I want to believe ‘happily ever after’ still exists, yet all around me love seems to be ending in nightmares…
I find someone I like, only to realise they don’t feel the same way about me at all… !
So I’m stuck….And because I am stuck, I start looking for reasons why I am stuck. Only to find that there are no answers, except maybe to let go of it all and just be myself. Hoping deep down, that I will still get a chance at this…one day.

So if you get stuck in the battle between lust and love, take a deep look at your inner self and choose wisely.

I’ll take love…… in time.