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Watched an interview today with Joshua Radin, my newfound favourite musical artist, he was lovely, even though that may not feel like a compliment to a man, but he was. Something he said struck me. He referred to his best friend and said, that they often joked around saying it would be great to both be gay, as they always have such fun, and laugh so much together as a pair, whereas, it seems hard to find a girl nowadays that makes him laugh.

Thing is, he’s right…we sometimes seem to forget that there is a ‘smile’ function to our ‘facial-grimace-option-board which makes us so much more attractive a person !!!

I attended a beautiful wedding this past weekend, and once again met up with estranged family members, whom I had not spoken to since my separation. Every single one of them made an effort to come talk to me and to ask me how I was doing. Very kind and heartfelt indeed. It has been 4 years now and the worst part is over as far as I’m concerned, of course some things remain painful (like seeing your children on the laps of the ex husband and girlfriend on the front row seats witnessing a family wedding ceremony, that I was a part of for nearly 20 years, whilst standing somewhere in the crowd now….wondering how it happened that I became so easily ‘replaceable’ …) but a strangers’ kind words can be soothing, and I am thankful once again for being comforted by such a loving soul at exactly the right moment !!!

Having reassured everyone of how well I am doing, with a big smile on my face, one person said to me, ‘….and after all this pain, you can still speak with a smile on your face’. Yes, I can, for there comes a point that you decide you want your life to become important again and worthwhile. Of course a lot of dreams disappeared or became impossible (for now), but so many other dreams and possibilities have taken over. New challenges and adventures galore.

Life did not end for me, it is just a new beginning !

Smiling does not mean there is no pain, it just helps us find the positives life has to offer. It helps us see the world through hopeful eyes. You never know what disaster may strike next so our time here should best be enjoyed and cherished !

A good friend of mine recently received devastating news. She has cancer. Tears of desperation have been shed and her whole world including her family’s has been turned upside down, but I know that she will be fine, because she has determination, and a hopeful spirit, and oh boy can she still make great jokes, and crack us up !!!
I greatly admire her, for her courage and life loving spirit. I look forward to celebrating with her next year that she too will have survived her trials and tribulations, smiling, even through the tears !!!

So a message to women (and men) all over, keep smiling, for it will attract a great many a friend into your hearts. The world just looks and feels better when you elude in happiness and smiles !!! =)

PS. May you all please support Pink Ribbon, and help many many women keep their smiles !!! =)

Isn’t that exactly what we all seem to avoid doing saying, and even in those cases where we finally say what we need to say, sometimes it comes out ‘all wrong’….as is often the case with me. I either truly say too much or just not enough of what I should. I’m learning though…slowly but steadily, to speak my mind and it’s become easier now that I am getting to know my out-of-control-psyche…just a tad.

It’s always baffled me that some people just know exactly how things are supposed to be, their minds are clear, straight lines, no loopholes, just plain and simple. Mine isn’t, it’s a constant chaos of what ‘if’s’ and what ‘may’s’ …never ending discussions and options, in one ear and out the other, continuous confusion, mayhem and turbulence….havocking  my ‘upstairs attic room’.

I find it exhausting at times, yet wouldn’t want it any other way….as it’s exactly what makes me, ME. However, I so admire those with clearer views and outlined barriers. I guess it’s like an interior, mine is crowded, cluttered and very lived in, but others live in minimalism often optimally maximizing their options and capacities that way !!

I’m in constant struggle with the ‘shadows in my head’ always wondering which voice to listen to and why…endless discussions good and bad, a waterfall of emotions streaming through now and again, after each big storm, befogging thoughts… but in the end bringing calmness and clarity for a little while, till the next downpour.

It’s like living on a different plane, and ‘odd-dimensional’ layer, one that feels alive but invincible…kind of like the one you sometimes feel you’re in after watching an action movie, where the hero, went through the toughest combats and battles ever, yet, survived and triumphed all, with barely a scratch to show for it…and leaving you in (his) euphoric exaltation.

That kind of almighty perception, is what seems to be what continuously lives in my ‘mind-attic’.

So…having unveiled the insidesghts of  my ‘top chamber’, and probably leaving you thinking I am absolutely bonkers, rest assured that it keeps me living the vida loca, that I so love to dwell in. Looking forward to what comes next, always !!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/08/05/share-your-breakthrough-s_n_667245.html#s123650