Category: Miesblog

Sunshine or not, the tough days still seem to appear out of the blue. Funny how you can be surrounded by wonderful friends and family, yet feel so lonely at times. It just goes to show that loneliness is inside of you, not influenced by outside factors. (Although keeping busy can help your lonely spirit hide.)
Today happens to be one of those days…the sun is out and making everyone happy, yet I find myself excluded from it. No kids, no friends, no family. Just me.

Draining in self pity I guess, for a bit…as no happy thought and no amount of sunshine seems to do the trick.

It’s just one of those days…

We all have them I’m sure, a friend of mine has had to put her kids on a plane for a month long trip to visit their father abroad, it must have been so hard for her to do, yet she will hopefully not feel lonely as she has found her prince charming and his love and attention will take the edge off missing her girls.

I know you should never count on the other person for your own happiness, that’s not how it works, you need to be and feel happy yourself and the other person will just add to that. Thing is…..it would be nice at times to have that addition…just that little bit extra. Knowing a special person out there thinks the world of you and will undrown your sorrow. Can’t help but think that makes me greedy and needy….yet doesn’t everyone hope to find that ?!

It’s on the off days that life looks so gloomy, and for some reason, it’s hard for me to get through them…
Miss my kids, and all their laughter. Feel excluded from friend and family events, as sometimes my presence is no longer appreciated. It makes things awkward and hard for everyone involved, I am still the same person, just no longer suitable. All very understandable, which makes it even harder at times, for I do not want to let anyone feel uncomfortable or obliged.

It’s weird how it happens that by being single at my age, makes you less likely to get invited to things that couples and families do together. Especially at weekends and dinner parties. So best and only option is to find your own fun in life. And I say this trying to convince myself out of my solitude mood. 😉

A full 24 hours of indulging myself in ME time, and not having had a single proper conversation with anyone, leaves me feeling like a hermit, secluded from society. And that is not my thing.
Even so, a ‘time out’ is good for everyone, time to self reflect, ponder and wonder. Life is not always on the up, so it’s good to explore the lowlands.

I wouldn’t be me if a plan of action had not been made so ….as the skies turn grey and rain approaches, soon enough my kids will be back home, grandparents will be visiting and enough food to feed the hungry will decorate the table !! Now THAT, is what I call living the good life !

The loneliness ? It gets tucked away till next time….  😉

Apparently if you get hurt somewhere along the way of love, sometimes without even noticing it at first, cuts appear and scars occur. Funny how this doesn’t become apparent until it’s allready full blown in your face. After years of ‘healing’ and ‘growing’ I thought I had reached the point of being able to ‘start over’. Everything was running smoothly, great friends, caring family, well settled kids, and a new life that suited me and all my likes, and the will to love again !

How wrong I was.

A few trial and errors had not seemed so harmless at the time, even though they hurt the ego and caused some tiny emotional turmoil. Every single time I dusted myself off and set my path onwards. Of course wondering why and what may have led to the unsuccesful ‘relationship’, but determined to learn from it and make better judgements next time round.

So, not considering that each and every ‘other’ time, I was actually dealing with a new and ‘other’ person, I became strict and non acceptive. Trusting someone is not as easy as it once was, when I blindly followed and believed. After having been ‘screwed around’ a few times, I figured everyone had such a deviously deceptive plan and intention in mind, never considering that there may still be noble men (and women) out there. Taking a look around, didn’t help much either, as people seemed to be splitting up for the most insane reasons possible, left and right.

Finding myself checking things in shameful ‘Big Broher Like Ways’, and thinking it an absolute natural way of handling the situation. I never considered that it may just be a way of controlling my own feelings, so they wouldn’t again get hurt. At times, the ‘spying’ would lead to nothing as the hunch would not turn out the way I expected it to, and other times I would think something of a certain ‘act’ that meant nothing and was easily clarified with a perfectly innocent explanation.  So what I ended up doing is looking for the ‘fault’ …..UNTIL I  found ANYTHING…because all I seemed  to want, was to be right about the person in question not being trustworthy. The trouble with all this snooping around is that, you leave no space for naturalness, for true desire, or attraction. It kills anything and everything by suffocating the ‘butterfly’ breeze. Not only do you achieve hurting yourself anyway, but you now also find yourself hurting other people, especially those with the best intentions.

It became apparent to me that we can only open ourselves up to love if we open ourselves up to pain and hurt. For without one, there is no other.

A great challenge lies before me, as I must now find a way to trust and not be afraid of the consequences. In a world where everything seems scattered and upside down, and ethics are lost in desires. Putting an end to my own doubts and without hurting yet another person. I hope that it will be possible to find my way again, and if I’m lucky, very lucky, there’ll be some out there willing to lovingly help me get there. 🙂 So I guess it’s about time to cut the crap and cut some of them out there, some slack ….daring to jump in the deep end ! Leaving it up to fate…..sticking with it…to see how the story goes….

Fashion dictates all over body issues….how we look, what we wear, what is accepted and acceptable; and yes, even what is underneath all that… !!!

Great changes have taken place since I went into puberty…from wild natural bushes, to elegantly trimmed acres and smooth silky pastures. Weird how something so primal can go through such an evolution. How does it happen and why ?! Do we feel that nothing needs covering up anymore ?! Or is it a desire to rid ourselves of our primaeval heritage ?! And if so, why ….?!

Do we find the need to expose that which is hidden because life is complicated enough and it seems our only and most natural way to show our true colours, and purity…. Or is it only a desire to look and feel good. Do these trends occur maninly early on in new relationships, and do they last ?! Asking around, I have noticed that not everybody is up to date with the latest fashion ‘between the sheets’. Some couldn’t be bothered and feel that after years of marriage, there is no need for refreshing cuts 😉 afterall, there ‘should’ be no comparison right ?!

No…not ‘right’, as nowadays anything and everything can be ‘googled’ !!! So the latest fashion in hair ‘down under’ is available to all those keen enough to type a search for it. Images included !!

Why we sometimes go through the trimming ‘torture’ remains puzzling, as it is not comfortable to wax, smelly and nearly lethal to ‘Veet’, and very sensitive to shave daily not to mention extremely itchy the day after ;-). And I haven’t even begun to talk about ingrown hair follicles, rashes or all the various shapes and sizes in womens- in-between-the-legs -‘creations’.

We take things far as human beings, men have started shaving all over too, areas, that to me seem unmanly when hairless, but the trend is set and people follow. There are individuals who feel that after the succes of snow white teeth, anus bleaching is the way to go, no offence but who cares how perky and ‘blond’ buttholes look ?! Some even go to the extremities of vagina regenarations, whereby everything is ‘tightend’ back into teen proportions …..somehow this sounds very pedophile to me.

All for what ?! A better sex life ….I wonder, because  a great sex life  involves passion, desire and if you’re lucky, plenty of love. Things that don’t seem fazed by the exterior looks or fashion statements of your new found lover.

However, does what ‘goes’ have to be followed or do we do what we feel is best, and most convenient ? Should that be convenient to us or to the other person ?! Of course ‘flossing’ should be done with proper dental floss, but other than that, I see no other real problem with which style we choose to go for. How far do we go to ‘please’….and how much of a sacrifice and effort do we make ?!
Does it influence the magic between two people or is it just a seductive method, to attract the other sex and confrim our own idleness. New partners take time to get used to, to adjust to each other’s likes and dislikes, to learn the tricks of the trade. A voyage of great exploration, fun and pleasure. We embark on this mission in the hope that our fashion statement will get us what we want, yet somewhere along the journey, we realize that what we want may not be stated in that fashion !!!

It has been a marvelously funny and enlightening quest, I would like to extend special thanks to those who shared plenty of ‘views’ and details !! 😉 May you peak in great style !!!