Author: Mies

Find myself struck and stuck, not because I have no stories left to tell but because after my ‘Heart Locked’ blog, all emotion seems to have hit the ‘off‘ button. So the next fase sets in and I suppose it leaves me pondering… and wondering…the question this time being…

‘Now what’ !!

I realise that this will most probably be a temporary state of mind, yet find myself feeling a bit uneasy as it might just be a bigger breath to hold this time. Feeling stuck in the moment…seeing no exit. Emotions locked away, safe and sound. Living day by day, moment by moment, no aspiration for more. Perfectly content, yet with the knowledge that hiding away feelings is most probably not the wisest way to go.

Is it possible, that I’m enjoying life, without sharing it ?! Without the longing to share it ….between two drawn souls. No need for that extra pair of everything, no need for another heart’s warmth. Just living the moment, without loss, or disappointment, learning to be just me and slowly falling in love with that.

Stuck in the eye of life’s storm, with a chance to soon be struck again, or maybe, just maybe, my pondering thoughts, may help it last… a little longer, long enough to get unstuck in the middle. Wondering the purpose of this pauze, as it baffles the brain yet leaves me with calm ease and tranquility.

Having time and space, to get unstuck from this momentary lapse may be the only cure, and best way out…of something I’m not sure I want to leave behind.

Looking left and right, front and back, but twirling in the midst of it, till the twirl’s undone. Will I then have reached the ‘unstuck’ ?!

To all the stuck, I know this blog is crystal clear and to all others it must be a complete and utter ‘fog blog’. My apologies for that but cannot provide you with anymore clarity of mind or matter. It is what it is, and it will be what it will be…for as long as it shall be. Live to the boundaries, close the exits, remove the doubts and warm the hearth. Welcome to the basics of love.

Paulo Coelho Writing books is a socially acceptable form of getting naked in public

If you thought the tales of the rich were over and done with in my last ‘Riches’ blog, then I’m afraid you’ve been left with a wrong impression. Many more shall follow !!

Last week I had the pleasure of enjoying a ladies lunch in a beautiful countrylike setting, it was a ‘bring your own delicious dish’  theme and for some reason women my age seem to crave sweetness, so there was plenty of cream, strawberries, merengue, cake and chocolate…!!

I makes me wonder if this is a lack of sex, warmth and heartfelt comfort at this age…then again, it may just have been coincidence…

Whilst enjoying the scrumptious food, we chitter-chattered about life’s challenges big and small. One of us has breast cancer, another has so many kids that we can hardly keep track of their activities anymore and yet another is actively looking for a job, the rest is stuck somewhere in the middle… and then there’s me, ‘the single one’. All of us provided the group with plenty of discussion material to entertain the whole luncheon-ordeal ! In the ongoing conversation I found out that apparently we not only have gardeners to trim and cut our lawns these days, but deer have also been spotted in this neighbour-robin‘-hood of wealth !!! Yes, ‘deer’….as in Rudolf, the rednosed reindeer… I could not believe my ears for I never imagined such a noble animal trotting down these ‘foul’ rich grounds, let alone trusting us with their calves whilst mother dear deer is off to hunt!!

Having spent the afternoon lunching and lounging….I went home, carrying a pretty full tummy of contentment with my life. The thing is…no matter what situation you’re in, it’s all about seeing and aknowledging the positives !!(Yes, I know I keep repeating that….it’s called a mantra.)

So….this week, during a night out with the girls, we were discussing weekend plans and one of my friends had the most brilliant idea, she was planning a trip to the beach with the kids and another friend and why not have a beach bbq ?! And not JUST a beach bbq, no…..a portable one !!! Yes, I can see you imagining this tiny ‘use only once apparatus’, but no, when we talk beach bbq around here, we mean business, and so a huge Weber ‘full option bbq’ is packed onto a special towing device at the back of the Range to join the beachgirls on their outing. Afterall an afternoon at the beach in late summer is not complete without one !! And because so many of the men around here have no time at the weekend to join in this funfilled family outing, due to their golfing and sailing activities….the bbq is ‘girl-friendly’ !!!

You gotta love my friends, they all know how to re-invent life each and every time !!

After that much laughter over the portable bbq-trailer, a much needed visit to the loo was required. The staircase to and from the toilets was pretty steep the first time round, so I was a bit nervous now, having had a few drinks…but this place wouldn’t prove it’s decadence if it didn’t have an elevator …..and so, with a quick press on the button, we flew from ground floor to first(class) and back.

Towards the end of the evening and without even having had a drink too many, I realised that all the men looked alike, they were all just different versions of each other …one a little thinner than the other, another a bit older than the other, some a bit taller and slightly more handsome. All ‘extreem-look-a-likes’ . You’d think it would make it easier to choose from, just pick and pluck what you want, but what happens if, like in my case, it just isn’t your type-of-guy ???  Well, you go home and sleep on him it.