Schrijfsels

Ok, I admit, one of the consequences of having met the love of your life at a very young age, is that  you miss out on a lot of fun stuff in your teens. I know I did, even though at the time I didn’t notice or mind ! Afterall, I was in love, and it was all that mattered.

It is utterly embarrassing  to have been drunk for the first time in my life at age 34… it was a mojito filled evening drunk through a straw… Surrounded by friends and of course Mrs.Goldflower…as some of you may remember…
Yes, Mrs.Goldflower was a real treat to the eye.. nearly 2 decades older than me, yet with perfect ‘Madame Tussaud’ skin, a body many models would die for, a gorgeous winter tan  and elastic legs ! ‘Mrs.Goldflower’…   had a flower decorated handbag and was dressed in gold ! Hence the name.
It was a funfilled evening with many table discussions about men and women in their midlife crisis, and it ended as a true tearjerker. It is a well known fact that women are emotional human beings, and I guess we feel compelled to join in when anybody starts crying, afterall, it’s a great excuse to let it all out, without anybody thinking anything of it !

I had to be driven home by one of my best friends that night. Another friend’s husband kindly drove my car home. How embarrasing is that !?! The kids were upstairs sound asleep. My friend walked me into the house and tried her best to keep me from talking nonsense to the babysitter, she, of course failed horribly, but thankfully I have forgotten what foolish things I must have said. I hope she has too !
At the time I had a great dane, she was a wonderfully caring scooby doo type dog called ‘Fleur’. I remember being ushered up the stairs by my friend and nearly tripping over my dog as she seemed to sense something was ‘abnormal ‘about me that night. In an attempt to guard over me, she nearly tripped us both and walking up the stairs with her ‘on guard’, became a true challenge in the state I was in.
In bed, with some painkillers as a quick-fix-remedy for the next morning, I dozed off into a twirl of a nightmare, only to find that being drunk made my room turn faster than any rollercoaster I had ever been on.

The next morning I was awakened by my kids, bright and early (of course ) !! I realised that I had promised my in laws to visit them and I got up, did the whole English breakfast, bacon, eggs, and even baked beans, thing and was on my way. Luckily I have great parents in law and we all laughed about it over lunch !

The other day I went out for my weekly coffee with one of my best friends. Being creatures of habit we always go to the same place, and have enjoyed the extra service we get there. A young man who is always equipped with a wonderful smile and friendly wink a’wait’s us. This time after months of visiting, I decided to be bold and right after we ordered our drinks, I asked the handsome young man his age. My friend, who is extremely polite, prim and  proper, nearly died of embarrasement, as my question clearly seemed out of line for her ! I guess that even by my standards I had jumped to the next ‘dare-to-ask’ level.
He blushed and informed us he was 24.
“Right”, I said. “Hmmm….”
He built up the courage to ask me if I had thought he was younger or older than that. I told him I had a feeling he was younger. He seemed flattered and thanked me. This whole scene led to my friend diagnosing me as having a ‘Pubic Revival’ which in simple terms means I am reliving my teens, and early twenty’s doing stuff most people have allready done by the time they are my age. I laughed, but when I got home I realised she was right. Life has become an exciting open ended journey and I have finally embarked !!

Recently I’ve started to date again. It has been a real challenge, as the world seems to be running out of decent men.
I joined an internet dating site out of curiosity and it has felt as if I have been doing catalogue shopping ever since! Yoohoo! A girl just loves to shop, right?

The site I joined has easy access for all, and you can mainly scroll through literally millions of pictures of (available) men – (or women if that’s your preference). You’d think that such a collection of men would be more than enough to choose from, but when you find yourself having been viewed by five thousand of them and you realize there may be two or three that you actually would consider as potential dates it kind of shatters your expectations.

One of the first guys I chatted with, seemed too good to be true, he was good looking, a model, a few years younger than me and keen to set up a date. I was thrilled ! I printed his picture and of course showed it to all my girlfriends, who in turn told me I was out of my mind as they were in total disbelief. Once he and I had decided to actually meet and have our first date, he suddenly disappeared off the site. Yikes…I thought, now what?! A few weeks later I received an email from him telling me to check out his new website.I did… and to my great astonishment he had started his own business. He was a gigolo!!!

A few months ago he re-appeared on the dating site and had checked out my profile again, so we got back in touch for a little while. Last month a friend of mine told me he was featured in a women’s magazine, an article about his life as a gigolo… I guess it made a great ending to that ‘dating’ experience…!

In the meantime I had kept scrolling and window shopping….and found myself a new potential date. Of course he was Dutch… yes I do seem to have an outspoken favouritism for Dutch men. We decided to meet halfway, he would take the train and I would pick him up at the station. As inexperienced as I was at this, I even told him what colour and brand my car was so he couldn’t miss me. So…on a Thursday night, I drove to our meeting point and as I approached the station I could see my ‘date’ waiting for me. Instinctively I wanted to keep driving as withing 2 seconds I had decided he was not the man for me!

But he recognized my car, waved at me, got in and as he introduced himself I kept thinking ‘Oh my goodness, how do I get rid of this guy as soon as possible?’ He produced a list of possible activities we could do (can you believe it?! Who does that, I wondered?!!). I told him I wasn’t too hungry and that maybe we could just have a quick bite somewhere. We found a cosy restaurant and I ordered the smallest salad on the menu, he proceeded to order a full blown meal for himself.

The chit-chat started and I realised that I was only paying so much attention to his words, but ever so much attention to his hair! Yes, his hair…! On the way over to the restaurant he had mentioned not having been able to get his hair thinned out lately. I found it odd that a man would be preocupied with such detail, but figured he was just being polite and making conversation. So, sitting there opposite him at the table I couldn’t help but investigate his hairdo…it was awful. He seemed to have thicker hair at the front of his head and it looked a bit like a bird’s nest. All of a sudden he excused himself. I couldn’t help but giggle at the whole situation, and of course sent around a few text messages to curious girlfriends, wondering how my date was going.

When the guy came back to the table and sat down, I couldn’t believe my eyes…he had actually attempted to ‘fix’ his hair!!! And it was wet, the waterdrops were even dripping down his sideburns and forehead. At this point I knew I had to get out of there as soon as possible, or I’d never stop laughing. I hurried him along and we paid for our meals. We quickly made our way to my car as it was raining cats and dogs. (Imagine what THAT did to his hair.  I don’t think I’ve ever driven that fast in a town I didn’t know, just so I could drop him off at the station as soon as possible…

I parked my car close to the curb and politely gave my date a handshake, he pulled me towards him and kissed me…

WOW, I thought, this guy is a great kisser..!!! And then visions of his weird-and-nesty-hair flew through my mind and I heard the bus honking it’s horn behind us, in a flash I stopped kissing, told my date he had to leave, pushed him out and found myself driving away, waving at him whilst he stood in the pouring rain flabbergasted and in shock waving back at me.
I roared with laughter and couldn’t stop … never again will I go out with a guy who’s having a ‘bad hair’ day (date), I thought… !

xx

I have been a “stay at home mom” for a few years now. Lucky enough to have had that chance and possibility, and love and cherish it still today. I guess I have always felt that the saying “you only live once” is something that becomes brutally obvious once you have kids. It is only once that you see them take their first steps, once that you hear their first mumbling of words, once that you experience the joy of their first smile…. It has been a pleasure to have been able to see this with every one of my children.

Then you realize it’s all about letting go, they slowly start taking steps on their own path of life and gaps start to form, they develop a life outside of the family circle. And as a parent it’s totally scary yet very exciting to see your little one blossom in a different enviroment being school, at their sports activities, or with grandparents, family and friends. Life becomes an endless adventure for them. A playground of experiences.

Even so; it is at first hard and a great shock to the system when all of a sudden the family circle breaks and you start missing out on some of their important moments in life. It becomes a ‘hear say’, of experiences shared with their dad, his girlfriend, and their friends and family. At first it seems unbearable, but like everything in life, it just needs some time to get used to. As a mother all you want is to see your kids happy, and I must say that my kids are a very jolly bunch! They trot from my home to their dad’s home with great ease and joy and seem to be dealing with the whole situation superbly. I am proud of them, and have now learnt to hear their stories and experiences second hand, with a weird sense of having ‘been there…and done that’…as they happily share them with me!!

My children have coped amazingly well, and I am incredibly proud of them, it is therefore with much love and admiration for them that I make this blog a tribute to their unconditional love and fantastic storytelling abilities ! Thanks guys!

Introducing myself to the world of Bloggers…

It has fascinated me from the very beginning that we can just post our thoughts and ideas on the internet for friends, family and even the world to see and maybe even enjoy !

You’ll be reading much of the stuff that happens in my insane world. The world of late thirty something’s, and early forty something’s …where due to midlife transitions, money, power and just plain weirdness, hilarious and insane things seem to take place!

Just a little about myself… I’m Mies, 37, mom of 3 kids and I live close to Antwerp. Four years ago my husband and I split up. We had been together for 17 years and I guess our time had run out and I was quickly replaced by a younger version. It took me quite a while to get over the whole thing and in retrospect I’m glad it all happened as I seem to have found the ‘better me’ again!

I am now, still married (on paper), Living the Vida Loca…. as I like to call it. I live in a town, which seems to have inspired many soaps and series.
I started internet dating last year and have had many wonderful and funny adventures on my dates, and continue my quest to find the perfect man for me…

I hope you will enjoy my blogs as they will mainly be inspired by my everyday life !

Take care,

Mies x

Hoe komt het toch dat we altijd maar zoeken naar de ideale combinatie? Op alle levensvlakken stellen we hoge soms wel onhaalbare verwachtingen. Het lijkt op dat moment goed om het allerbeste te willen en te verkrijgen, maar hoe komt het toch, dat we niet gelukkig lijken te kunnen zijn met een beetje minder…of een beetje anders..?
Op relatie vlak is me niet ontsprongen dat er mensen zijn die streven naar ‘goud’. Ze geloven sterk in de ‘highs’ en zijn ervan overtuigd dat alleen wanneer ze een partner vinden die met hun samen piekt, ze het grootste geluk in de wereld zullen hebben. In mijn omgeving zie ik dat zo vaak, mensen die ernaar streven en hunkeren.
Is dat wat bedoeld wordt met stel jezelf een doel …’ga ervoor’…of ‘reach for the stars’?!
Hoe kan het dan, dat ik om me heen ook stellen zie die niet op die ‘gouden’ wolk zitten, maar die in hun rustig kabbelend beekje ziels gelukkig lijken?!
Het verbaast me soms zo, dat we als mensheid blijven denken dat het in de grote dingen zit, dat geluk alleen haalbaar is voor diegenen met hoge doelen en prestaties. Alleen bereikbaar voor die die alles op alles zetten.
Volgens mij heeft het meer en meer te maken met onze nieuwe wegwerpmaatschappij. Wat oud, versleten en niet meer goed is, gooien we weg. Zonder pardoes.
Ook in relaties is dit een trend geworden. We komen op een struikelblok en zijn teveel met idealen bezig om te zien dat er ook simpele oplossingen zijn. We willen teveel en eindigen daarom ook vaak met niets. Een hebberigheid die pijn en schade veroorzaakt, binnen koppels, families en vriendschappen. En waarom ? Omdat we overtuigd zijn dat het nog beter kan, nog leuker, nog makkelijker, nog mooier. En dan blijkt dat na een poosje we weer precies op hetzelfde ontevreden plekje terug belanden. Dus beginnen we opnieuw….en opnieuw… en opnieuw.
Soms in de illusie dat dat onze levenslessen zijn, maar in feite zijn het geen lessen als we er niets uit leren ? Of vergis ik mij hierin?