Boondoggle

Enough on the men topic for a while….I need to catch my breath and re-focus ! 😉

Educating kids is not something that comes as easy as actually making them… It’s a blessing, and priviledge but it is also a tremendous challenge, as kids have a way of extracting your very worst traits, at times.
My day usually starts off pretty quiet…the alarm goes off a couple of times, giving me plenty of time to adjust to daylight. I wake my kids and whilst I’m taking a relaxing shower, they get dressed. (For those of you with small kids…yes this is possible at a certain point, as long as you train them well ! ;-))
Once dressed and ready they go downstairs for breakfast (or so, they’re supposed to). I check their rooms turn off lights where necessary (and after years of training and continuous reminders it is still necessary, yes),  and then join them at the breakfast table. On the best of days, we have a reasonably calm breakfast but on some days…..it’s like being an officer in the army trying to deal with all sorts of frontline crises. Screaming, hitting, fighting, and looks that can kill, seem to be the war weapons of choice. However patient I hope to remain… I don’t. Soon enough my shouting exceeds theirs and for a little while it will deceivingly seem as if we have made peace (this is like the eye of the storm, just a momentary state of quiet).

I start my drill at around eight in the morning…”brush your teath, comb your hair, put your shoes on, get your lunchboxes, wear your sweaters, hurry up, grab your bags, ….all your bags, please hurry up, move, move, move…we’re going to be late” (which we never are, as I’ve learnt to start all the commanding around early enough) !! I’m sure many of you recognize the drill. (Especially mothers as dads somehow seems oblivious to all of this commotion.)

In the car, the seat battle continues….I have banned them from the front seat only to realise that all I did was move the problem to the back seat. Once again fighting over who sits where and why. Usually by this time I truly explode and then we sit in silence until we nearly reach school, where I start telling the kids that this is the last time I want to have this kind of argument with them in the early morning. They sulk yet promise to behave. We all say our happy goodbyes.

At 3 thirty I park my car at the school in happy expectation of seeing my kids again. Whilst I chit-chat with my friends, I wait for the kids to walk out of school. As they are approach me, they each start their own story tyelling and all wanting to be heard first, then angry that I don’t pay enough attention, and so I end up in the car once again with 3 angry kids and me wondering how that happened in such a short walk to the car.

The homework battle is one that I do not seem to be able to win. Stuff is left behind in school, homework notebooks are forgotten, reading books suddenly disappear and of course the terrible grade on the exam paper wasn’t their fault, as they only got asked questions on topics they had never even discussed in school !! 😉

In the middle of this mayhem I usually try to make and serve a reasonably healthy and well balanced dinner. Now I have to say that my kids are pretty much omnivores, but I know of motthers who cook 4 different meals to cater to each and everyone’s taste.

After dinner the dessert discussion begins, now I am separated and as some of you may know this is when kids use all their guilt trip power on you, telling me that dessert at their dad’s house is a bowl of crisps !!! I’m very susceptible to feeling guilty but this is taking it a bridge too far !!! So, new rule is yoghurt or fruit for dessert and no room for negotiation.

Shower time…now this is when true signs of the battle field become visible..the top floor seems to have been hit by a series of towel and clothing bombs, leaving debris scattered around. No one is responsible of course as the opponent is always to blame ! Leaving me, the red-cross-type-Florence Nightingale to deal with the aftermath of this disaster.

This is all followed by another blast of drill-seargent-mom instructions…”put your pj’s on, brush your teeth, comb your hair, get into bed, take your medicine, quiet please….it’s time to sleep…no, no more water now, go to sleep !!”

And by 8pm this reccuring familiar battle ends….and I am left in a bombshell, with the knowledge that like in the movie ‘Groundhog Day’ tomorrow will bring exactly the same warfares, and so I prepare for the next boondoggle.*

*any military operation that hasn’t been completely thought out. An operation that is absurd or useless.

                                                                    24hrs in 2 minutes

Mr. Hunky Dory Contest !

ATTENTION TO ALL MEN !!

It seems that we may be hosting a Mr. Hunky Dory contest soon !  I suggest that all men who feel they comply with the requirements of the competition, enrol asap !

Requirements :

– Preferably Dutch and if you’re not, then make sure you have enough looks to make up for it !
– Aged between 30 and 40, an exception can be made if you comply with 90% of the other requirements.
– No kids, but if you have them, then you too need to make up for it with your looks !
– Blond, but with brains
– Blue/green/grey eyes….just not brown !
– Tall-ish
– Good build, that means not too skinny and no beer belly !
– No guts, no glory attitude
– Sexy yet not aware of it, if possible.
– You have a job, a proper one !
– Sense of humor, but if you’ve read this far, then I guess, you qualifiy for that.

All candidates will be considered and tediously questioned  before being officially entered into the Mr. Hunky Dory contest. If you wish to apply leave your name and a number where we can reach you either in the comment box below, or on our fan page on facebook. We will get in touch with you asap.

The prize is an all expenses paid date with a gorgeous, funny, sweet and sexy mother of 3; with no signs of desperate behaviour AT ALL.

PS. You agree that if you are not selected for this contest, you will automatically be entered in the Mr.Hopeless Loser competition. The prize hereof will most likely be the same as mentioned above, but by then she may exhibit desperate behaviour.

Thank You  for your interest

The Living la Vida Loca Social Club

Writers Block/Blog !

Yikes, I haven’t been at this for very long yet, but I think I’ve reached my first writers block moment ! I can’t entirely blame myself though…it’s the people around me that have caused it. (Ha, isn’t it fun to blame others in cases like these ?! ;-))

I hosted a Mexican dinner party the other night…chili con carne, corona beers with lime, tortillas, guacamole, the works…and the first thing I noticed was that no one dared to share a thought, or speak their mind much, afraid that it might be ‘printed and published’ online by yours truly ! I’m presuming of course…although my sixth sense never lets me down.

Thing is…if you guys start shutting down, well, then there won’t be any vida loca stories left to write or tell ! You see, you’re my living fun factory !

Thank goodness for alcohol in these cases…..just pour enough into a person and the mouth starts moving and producing sounds again.

Speaking of alcohol-driven-speech….I have a friend who, when sober, is difficult to understand, but when he’s had a few drinks…he completely loses me in translation. I didn’t have the heart to tell him at first, but after a few encounters at our local bar and me just trying to nod at the right times, laugh when I presumed appropriate and appearing shocked or surprised when it seemed necessary, even though for the past 4 hours I had not understood a word of what he’d said to me…. I decided it would be kinder to just tell him, so in all honesty I have done so. I am happy to report that we are still friends, and I am now becoming a master at deciphering his ‘native’ tongue.

Mexican night turned into an evening of so much laughter, that I am wondering whether I should tape my face at night, to get rid of all the laugh-wrinkels I seem to be getting by the day. Botox can only do so much and I seem to be laughing so often that my face is starting to show serious signs of a happy life !

For those of you who have only met me in the past few years, you should know that I used to be a very different person. I think I was just fun-factored-out-of-life. Everything and anything seemed difficult, annoying and very tiring. And I used to blame others for my own misery. Afterall, it couldn’t jolly well be ME that was making my own life so miserable, could it?!

Thank goodness for shitty tough times in life, because if it weren’t for those, I don’t think I would have ever woken up to smell the coffee !! (And yes, coffee does smell sooooo good at times !!)

From then on it was easy…my motto was to enjoy life to the fullest. We’re only here once, and we have no idea for how long….reality truly hit me.

That’s when happy-party-coffee-drinking-sociable-fun-loving-men-craving-outrageous-acting ME was born !! I started Living my Vida Loca!!

Nothing to do with abusive alcohol consumption by the way !  😉 Just an honest desire to always look on the bright side of life !

Point is ….it doesn’t quite matter how you do it, just enjoy life as it comes, pick out the best moments which are always highlighted by the worst, and live from the heart.

I guess it just goes to show that everytime I think I won’t have anything to say…I still fill a page with useless, yet entertaining bullshit master pieces !!! 😉