I guess the best description of me now would be a read-faced-woman, with steam coming out of my ears and nostrils !! Once again, I opened my mouth on paper, well….specifically in an e-mail. You see, my eldest daughter has been playing field hockey since her 5th birthday and she is now about to turn 13. I am proud to say that with the effort she puts into it, she has made the best teams for a few years now. As her mother I am incredibly proud of this achievement and I encourage her as much as I can, by attending as many of her matches against other star talents as possible. Yes, I say ‘as possible’ because I have two other kids, who I am equally proud of and whom I also like to encourage in their sporting activities.
Being a single mom, I try to keep things as uncomplicated as possible, so for convenience sake, all three kids play field hockey (luckily they also love it). This way, everything happens in one place (the Club). The Club is about a 15 minute drive from home, a road I have frequented more over these past 8 years than any other in my life, so much so, that it sometimes feels like the Club is our second home. We are there on Monday’s, Wednesday’s, Friday’s and Saturday’s….and even though it looks like a nice place to spend sunny afternoons sipping tea, (or as some prefer; wine) the glamour of it wears off by the perpetual visits. It’s like a relationship, you need some time apart sometimes to bring back some of the old ‘spark’.
This ‘time-apart’ is what I like to call…’the Holidays’ ….they are a much loved time of peace and rest, provided by school, and all sorts of other authorities, so you’d expect the same to be true for sports clubs…but noooooo !! These girls are so highly motivated and encouraged by colleague sports-fanatics that they will be training during the ‘holidays’ much to my dismay. You see, I don’t want to be a ‘Cruella de Vil’ who prohibits her daughter to join them, but I do want a vacation from that cobble road I travel on sometimes 13 times a week….most of all though, I want my daughter to have time to enjoy the other things in life, because believe it or not, there is a whole world out there just waiting to be explored and it’s not all within the boundaries of a hockey field.
The problem is, of course, a ‘conscience’ one….if I don’t let her go, she will think it’s not fair as she might miss out on some essential stuff, which could put her at a disadvantage, in a team where, however proud I am, she has to work her butt off to keep up with the better players. I don’t want that to happen either, because her efforts should not be ruined by my need for a break from this scene and roadtrip. If I do let her go, it will seem as if I’m supporting this sporty overdose, which I am definately not.
So what to do in this case ? Give into this fanatic neurosis, that will only get worse as Christmas holidays, Easter holidays and even summer holidays will prove to be great practice opportunities for even better and bolder results…who are we kidding here ?! If you are shoved into something you feel forced into, you’ll end up hating it …so lets just enjoy the holidays and let go of all the ‘must do’s’….Please, pretty please.
Dear Mies,
Couldn't agree more! Allthough no holidays for me next week, I really wish my children a wonderful week to enjoy and relax. Since this fine institute named 'school' offers them the possibility to relax, they should. Time-out for them of their 'stressy' life and also time-out for 'taxi-driving-parents'
Annick
Absolutely Annick 😉 I hope they have a wonderful week off !! X
Yeah Mies, I know, these sports fanatics, huh?
Personally I can't keep my 13 year old away from the hockey, 2x club training, Saturday matches, Provincial training on Sundays, and then watching first team matches and give training himself… and then I get 'Mama why don't we have 3 club trainings a week like Dragons perhaps we'd be better then?'
We are probably a bit extreme but when it comes to sport isn't it about what they want and not about what we are prepared to do?
I'm a single Mum, working unsocial hours outside the carpooling zone but surely you can benefit from this and don't have to be present at every training session? Also thinking about it, it's nice for the kids to train when there's no stress of homework and suchlike, no?
Just to clarify on the sports side I think the trainer believes that the team needs extra training to realise their potential. She doesn't get paid extra for this so this was a good initiative on her part to help the team and she could maybe have used some support.
The team should probably also remember that what they do this year has an effect on the KM1 of next year. If they don't end in the top six the girls who come into the team next year (and some who are already there) inherit the position and play a lower standard of hockey because of it.. It's not EPM anymore where the club chooses your level according to the level of the team.
Hmmm, sport getting serious at first team level, cause for thought and maybe a little extra training sometime??
Joanna
Dear Joanna,
You make some great points, and believe it or not I even agree on most !!
I know the trainer has offered to do this all free of charge and have personally thanked her for this noble effort.
When my kids started playing hockey, it was for fun, to be sporty and active, get fresh air and to learn make a team effort. I never expected any of the kids to be good enough to get into the 'top' levels, and I am very proud that they've done so on their own efforts.
Whether or not to train next week, will be a choice Charlotte gets to make herself. You see, I might not agree with all the extra training, but I know that I am the type of mom, who'll drive that damn road anyway, if it's important to my child.
As her dad patiently said to me: 'why not let her train next week ? what's the problem ? I don't see the big deal…..oh and by the way, she can't train Monday cause I'm gone with the kids, but Wednesday you could take her right ?!' 😛
And so the ending of the story is….I needed to blow some steam, on a topic that made me slightly reach boiling point, but now the temper has tempered and as usual, I will do my best to be a good parent and try to make the right choices in life.