And so….just like it started, in a flash, it ends. Funny how all I seem to remember are the wonderful moments, the fun, the togetherness, the joy of daring to look into the future together and making plans. Trips, dinners, drinks, couch-potatoe’ing together, everything now has a lovely silver lining, and a nostalgia shadowed by a feeling of lament for it having ended far too soon. How, can so much love disappear into thin air ?! Did we fool love, or did love fool us?
Most of the memories now go into my ‘most cherished‘ box. And I find myself piling them in like a mad woman, for all of a sudden I see the lovely moments and relive them one by one, realising they were indeed worthwhile and even the painful memories make me utmost grateful and happy. Yet it’s only now, that it’s over, that I see it, that I realise the value of what I had. Why do we humans always realise this when it’s too late. ‘You only know what you’ve got when it’s gone’ ….When there is no way back and so we use this to learn our lessons in life, and do better next time….
Next time is not an option right now …because just like that, when it ended, it began. I felt my heart skip a beat and knew, that it belongs to one person only. Love struck, and this ‘condition’ can be long lasting.
It is far too late, happened much too slow, and there is no known remedy.
So, if it’s no longer in the cards for me, I shall have to leave it at that let it be and set it free and keep enjoying all the rest, my kids, friends, family and all that warmth and love that they provide. I’ll still feel a void, undoubtedly, and it may even be forever..!! But that’s only because sometimes, you just stumble upon the right person even though the timing may seem off and the combination may seem odd, yet in your heart, you know it’s absolutely right.
And so, I slowly realise that this is my choice, I choose to love, whether it means that I will be loved or not my heart is open and willing. More than that, we cannot do in life, except decide how WE ourselves stand in what we want and hope for, the rest is up to FATE.