Full Circle

I am officially dating a younger man !!!

Terrified that the world would be shocked but finding myself most ‘struck’ of all, I come to my blog to find some solace. Months of inner torture have preceded this act of  ‘living la vida loca’. Always struggling with what ‘I am expected to do‘ and what ‘I want to do’. Life seems to have thrown at me a huge challenge and great adventure. Yet feeling a bit wary and wondering how it may affect my children and their lives and views, and that of family and friends. Hoping no one gets hurt and trying to imagine how two such different lives will combine in real life situations. Daring to jump into the deep end, realising that if I don’t I’ll never know….and that in fact all relationships are a blind dive into unknown territory, and always carry the risk of pain or failure. But when it comes to love, you need to dare because if you don’t, it will pass right by you…..

It took one deep fall into my past pains and unfounded fears, to realize that the person who had appeared into my life, was prepared to bear through the good and the bad days, to accept me as I am, and to not only like me, but my children also. Anything and everything about me, (to him), is what makes me who I am. As unbelievable as I might find this….it is slowly but steadily becoming a reliable reality. My trust issues still haunt me, and pop up now and again and a lot of doubts still cross my mind, but it helps that they can be discussed and talked about now.

It is like learning how to walk again after years of being bedridden. Each and every new step is taken slowly, carefully and with great excitement and pride, but sometimes it is tough and exhausting and you feel you cannot bring yourself to it anymore…I now see that that is when the other person’s love and affection carries you that, so important, ‘extra mile’.

So, embarking on extremely new territory and with no clue as to where this will go, and how the world will look upon us, we bravely (well, the bravery credit must go to him, for I am nowhere near as brave) tread the waters of the unknown !!!

Like I have often said before, life brings us challenges and possibilities in the strangest of wrappings, and it is up to us to unwrap and unravel them cautiously and with a desire to explore them as best we can.

In my case years of living according to rules and regulations, have been replaced by living la vida loca it seems, but I must say that it makes me happy, aware of all the beauty life has offered and feeling as well balanced as any other person. So with this new foundation of creativity, joy and open spirit, I must admit I feel revived, alive and kickin’ !!!

A ‘cure’ I wish upon many others, for it is a blessing to realise that love is a full circle, no beginning and no end.

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